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Firefly Lane Book Review

Firefly Lane
May 30, 2011

I just finished reading Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah. When I started reading the book I almost stopped, it did not seem to be something that I would enjoy reading, but I did not have another book handy so I stuck with it and was happy with that choice as it did not take long for me to connect with the story. It follows the lives of two women who grew up in the 60’s and 70’s. While I did not have much in common with the characters, the author painted a pretty accurate picture of what life was like for me as a child, teen and young adult. I found that I could relate to the women in the story and started to enjoy the book. When I realized that it was going to have a sad ending, I was ticked off. I invested my time, my thoughts and my energy into this book; I do not like stories with sad endings. Maybe I grew up listening to too many Fairy Tales….and they lived happily ever after. I lead a real life with its ups and downs, I like stories that have a happily ever after endings. If I had known, I probably would not have read the book. I want to come away from a book feeling better about myself, not sad or depressed. While not giving anything away, I will say that finishing the story right before my husband was to leave for the week, was not a good idea.

Was it worth the read? I guess so. I am going to use a few selected paragraphs to share with my own daughter to show her what life was like for me growing up and how times have changed, how she has so many more opportunities because women of my generation and my mother’s generation lived and fought to make life better for women. I will also teach her the signs of inflammatory breast cancer as it is the author’s wish to teach others of that often misdiagnosed cancer.

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Snow Falls

We got hit by another winter snowstorm.  This is not unusual for us.  We deal with the snow and life moves forward.  Sometimes it moves forward while we hang out at home.

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Under the Dome Book Review

Stephen King’s Under the Dome
October 27, 2010

I just finished reading, Under the Dome, by Stephen King. It is not the type of book that I would normally select to read, but a friend mentioned it on facebook and I figured, why not, and put it on hold at the Library. When I went to get it at the library I was surprised, Under the Dome is no lightweight, literally. I was going to say that it must weigh 5 pounds, but I just went out and weighed it on our shipping scale and it is 3.8 pounds…not quite 4 pounds.

I have never read a Stephen King novel before. I found that he is a very detailed writer, too many details for my liking, I would rather not read about a dog taking care of business…now you have read it too, but in much less detail. About halfway through I got bored with the book and just wanted to be finished, but I am not a person who will skip to the end, “The joy doesn’t come in knowing who did it, the joy comes in the journey, in allowing the end to blossom like some magnificent Himalayan blue poppy”, I love that quote, it was from the television series, Castle, season 3 episode 6. I could not just skip to the end I had to let the story blossom and blossom it did, it went from fiction to science fiction, not what I was expecting. Sadly, I found the ending disappointing, especially after investing so much of my time in reading a 1072 page book.

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Pretend Movie Review: Cruella

I was not excited to see this movie as Cruella is the nemesis in the 101 Dalmatian story.  I was never a fan of Cruella and the idea of of the nemesis being turned into the heroine was not something I was looking forward to seeing. However, I do love to see a movie at the theater, so when my daughter said she wanted to see it and would go without me if she had to, I could not let that happen…as I love movie theater movies so much.

 

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The Last Time Sucks

Today marks 3 months since my son Dale died. they say the firsts after a death are hard, first holidays, first birthdays, first time doing something without the person who passed away. Yes, all of those things are hard, but so are the last things. Today is the last time I will ever do Dale’s laundry. Dale was not living with us at the time of his death. Since his passing I have been trying to collect his belongings. Some people have been very thoughtful and called or messaged me to ask if I wanted something of Dale’s that they had. In some cases I said yes, while in others I told them to keep the items. I recently got a bag full of some of his belongings. All clothes. I washed the first load yesterday and spent time folding the clothes today so that they can be donated. Dale was an adult and living on his own, so I didn’t ever expect to wash his clothes, yet sometimes he would stop by to do his laundry and I would help up, maybe with the folding, or maybe I would just watch as he folded. During that time we would talk. This will be the last time I ever fold my son’s clothing. I broke down and cried. The last time sucks!

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This is my Son

My 29 year old son died, unexpectedly, almost two months ago.  It was tragic and I miss him so much.  Two years ago we took a trip to the Twin Cities, while we were there we visited the Mall of America.  It was a fun trip filled with good memories.  It is just a tiny glimpse at my life with my son.

 

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The Waves of Lake Superior

It was the first of November when we heard there were going to be big waves out on the Great Lake, so we jumped in the car and took a drive.  It was a beautiful day, with a strong, gusty wind.  We were not disappointed, the waves were beautiful.

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Trying to be UP

It has been 25 days since my son died.  25 days!  I have cried each and every one of those days.  Today I cried when I looked at his little dog snuggled up in my bed.  Each time Dale would come to get her she would get so excited.  It was if she would say to Dale…I thought I would never see you again.  She was always that excited to see him.  It breaks my heart that she will never see him again.  That I will never see him again.  I don’t have enough photos of him.  I don’t have enough videos of him. I don’t have him.  He was not with me all of the time.  I didn’t see him every day, I didn’t even talk to him every day, yet I knew he was there, that he was just a phone call, or a text away.  If I needed him he would be here in a heartbeat.  Now he won’t.  I am so sad.  Each day I am sad.  Sad that he is gone.  Sad that he is not a phone call away.  Sad that I will never again hear him say…”Because I am Dale.”  or “Hey momma.”  So, so sad.

Today as I scroll through facebook or instagram I see so many happy smiling faces.  Just a month ago my own feed showed happy, smiling faces.  I know that soon I will once again show happy smiling faces, yet there will be a sadness behind those smiles, a sadness behind those happy faces.   The loss of my son has taught me that.  It taught me what I already knew…it brought it home for me.

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Barking Dogs

8:21pm

In the past when the dogs would start barking at night…I would wonder if Dale was here.  He would show up unexpectedly.  A nice little surprise.  Sometimes not so nice, but most of the times nice.  Tonight when the dogs started barking my mind went immediately to Dale.  Oh wait, It can’t be Dale.  It will never again be Dale. Sigh.

 

12:09pm October 28, 2020

The last two days have been bad…ugly crying bad.  Today has been better.  Not great, but better.

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Plans

Someone asked me if I had any plans for the 1 month mark after Dale’s death.  Oh boy!  I had not even thought of that.  Since being asked that question about plans for something to mark one month, I have been giving it a lot of thought.   It is winter here where we live.  The ground is already covered in snow.  We won’t be able to put a grave marker on his grave until spring.  I want to do something for the winter months, to mark his grave.  I want to be able to see where he is, from the road.  I think I will put those bent rods that hold hanging flower baskets.  I have seen others at the cemetery so I know they are allowed there.  I won’t be able to hang flower baskets with real flowers, but maybe I can place other items.  At least his grave will be marked and I will be able to find it. That thought brings me some comfort.  Now that I have thought of this, I don’t want to wait until the one month mark.  I want to do it right away.