Author: angela

Categories
Thoughts

United 93

January 26, 2017

I am watching the movie United 93.  The story of one of the planes that was hijacked by terrorists on September 11, 2011.  The passengers thwarted the hijackers and the plane went down in a field in Pennsylvania instead of reaching its intended target.  This is a tough movie to watch.  I have visited the field where the plane went down. That was also an emotional experience.  So, so sad.  It is difficult to watch as I know that so many will die.  I am in tears.

I took this photo when we visited the memorial in 2014.

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Uncategorized

Firefly Lane Book Review

Firefly Lane
May 30, 2011

I just finished reading Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah. When I started reading the book I almost stopped, it did not seem to be something that I would enjoy reading, but I did not have another book handy so I stuck with it and was happy with that choice as it did not take long for me to connect with the story. It follows the lives of two women who grew up in the 60’s and 70’s. While I did not have much in common with the characters, the author painted a pretty accurate picture of what life was like for me as a child, teen and young adult. I found that I could relate to the women in the story and started to enjoy the book. When I realized that it was going to have a sad ending, I was ticked off. I invested my time, my thoughts and my energy into this book; I do not like stories with sad endings. Maybe I grew up listening to too many Fairy Tales….and they lived happily ever after. I lead a real life with its ups and downs, I like stories that have a happily ever after endings. If I had known, I probably would not have read the book. I want to come away from a book feeling better about myself, not sad or depressed. While not giving anything away, I will say that finishing the story right before my husband was to leave for the week, was not a good idea.

Was it worth the read? I guess so. I am going to use a few selected paragraphs to share with my own daughter to show her what life was like for me growing up and how times have changed, how she has so many more opportunities because women of my generation and my mother’s generation lived and fought to make life better for women. I will also teach her the signs of inflammatory breast cancer as it is the author’s wish to teach others of that often misdiagnosed cancer.

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Uncategorized

Snow Falls

We got hit by another winter snowstorm.  This is not unusual for us.  We deal with the snow and life moves forward.  Sometimes it moves forward while we hang out at home.

Categories
Uncategorized

Under the Dome Book Review

Stephen King’s Under the Dome
October 27, 2010

I just finished reading, Under the Dome, by Stephen King. It is not the type of book that I would normally select to read, but a friend mentioned it on facebook and I figured, why not, and put it on hold at the Library. When I went to get it at the library I was surprised, Under the Dome is no lightweight, literally. I was going to say that it must weigh 5 pounds, but I just went out and weighed it on our shipping scale and it is 3.8 pounds…not quite 4 pounds.

I have never read a Stephen King novel before. I found that he is a very detailed writer, too many details for my liking, I would rather not read about a dog taking care of business…now you have read it too, but in much less detail. About halfway through I got bored with the book and just wanted to be finished, but I am not a person who will skip to the end, “The joy doesn’t come in knowing who did it, the joy comes in the journey, in allowing the end to blossom like some magnificent Himalayan blue poppy”, I love that quote, it was from the television series, Castle, season 3 episode 6. I could not just skip to the end I had to let the story blossom and blossom it did, it went from fiction to science fiction, not what I was expecting. Sadly, I found the ending disappointing, especially after investing so much of my time in reading a 1072 page book.

Categories
Uncategorized

Pretend Movie Review: Cruella

I was not excited to see this movie as Cruella is the nemesis in the 101 Dalmatian story.  I was never a fan of Cruella and the idea of of the nemesis being turned into the heroine was not something I was looking forward to seeing. However, I do love to see a movie at the theater, so when my daughter said she wanted to see it and would go without me if she had to, I could not let that happen…as I love movie theater movies so much.

 

Categories
Life

Lidocaine/Ephinephrine Reaction

I visited the dentist today for a new crown.   Before starting I told the dentist that sometimes I didn’t always numb up from whatever they use as a numbing agent.  He told me they would be using Lidocaine.  All was going well until the second injection.  At that point it felt like I had an electrical shot in my jaw and I started feeling really anxious.  I never feel anxious like that.  I waited for him to finish the injection, because what more could I do?  Then I told him I was feeling strange, that I never feel anxious, but was feeling anxious.  I was feeling restless and I didn’t know how else to explain it.  He was very calm and told me that there was also Epinephrine with the Lidocaine, and  while it didn’t happen often,  it did effect some people the way I described it. He said it would subside after a few minutes. I was also having a sharp pain in my chest, so I said to him, “So I am not having a heart attack?  This pain in my chest is normal?”  He looked at me and told me I was not having a heart attack.  Okay, I felt better about that.  Yet, I did not feel better at all.    He explained to me why they use epinephrine and why it was making me feel the way it did.  That was also reassuring.  He sat there with me for awhile, but then got up and left me in the care of his assistant. (I am sorry, I am sure she has a title, but I do not know what it was.)  After the doctor left I sat there for awhile.  The assistant chatted with me, while I described how I was feeling. She then told me she was having palpitations…but quickly amended that to sympathy symptoms.  After a few long minutes, I stopped feeling anxious, but then got the chills The chest pain subsided and it was about that time the doctor walked back into the room.   I still felt a bit off and had sporadic pain in my chest, but I was ready to proceed.   It was only later, when I was home that I wondered just how common or uncommon my reaction was.  Especially since the assistant was having sympathy symptoms.  Instead of sympathy symptoms, was she anxious for me?  I had never had this reaction before, so maybe I had not had that combination of Lidocaine/Epinephrine in the past, I don’t know.  The doctor also told me his wife and her mother experienced the same thing.  This made me wonder if this reaction could run in families, so I mentioned my reaction to some of my siblings.  One sister told me she had the same reaction.  So then I told my children.  My own son said he felt a similar response to the Lidocaine/Epinephrine shot, only he did not make the connection until I described it to him.  Now I wonder just how common this reaction is and is it that people do not realize why they are feeling so anxious in the dentist chair.

Categories
Grief

Five Months

March 2021

Today marks the 5th month since my son Dale died.  I often think of  the words, “loss of my son”, but I don’t like to say that as I  didn’t lose my son, he died.  It still seems surreal, like at any moment my phone is going to ring and I am going to hear Dale say, Hey Momma.  Oh, do I miss him. The tears still fall, the pain is still very real.  My heart still hurts and I feel that it always will hurt.  I will grow older but without Dale in my life. He will forever be 29.  29 years young.  Even now it huts too much to write about this loss.  Even thought I don’t like it…yes, it is a loss in my life, while I didn’t lose him, there is a loss in my life without him in it.  Today was a hard day.

 

Categories
In the Kitchen

The Best Red Velvet Cake Recipes

Valentine’s Day was fast approaching and I wanted to do something special for the day.  Why not make a red Velvet Cake?  I have been sugar free for a few years now, however the rest of my family are not sugar free, so I decided to make two different red velvet cakes.  I only tried the sugar free version, which is also on plan for THM as an S meal, and it would make a great Keto cake.

Here is the video of me making the cakes…

And now the list of ingredients:

Sugar Free Red Velvet Cake

1 1/4 cup Baking Blend

1/2 cup Protein Powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

3/4 cup Pyure Sweetener

3/4 cup almond milk

2 teaspoons vinegar

5 eggs

1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla

1 Tablespoon red food coloring

2 Tablespoon cocoa powder

1/3 cup melted butter

 

Red Velvet Cake

1/2 cup butter

2 teaspoons vanilla

1 cup milk

1 tablespoon vinegar

2 eggs

3 tablespoons cocoa powder

2 1/2 flour

1 1/2 cup sugar

2 teaspoon red food coloring (You may need more. Maybe 2 tablespoons)

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking soda

 

Categories
Books

Book Review: Mama’s Bank Account

Mama’s Bank Account by Kathryn Forbes

Copyright, 1943

This is not a book I would have selected on my own.  These days I have little time to read a real book so when I do it is one I have carefully selected.  Lately I have avoided any books that would bring sadness.  It has not always been this way, just since the loss of my son last fall.   So, why did I choose to read this book you ask?  Well, it was on the reading list for my younger son’s school work.  This year he has been studying American history, so I suspect this book was selected to give the student a glimpse into the lives of an immigrant family in the early 1900’s.    While not a sad book, it does have sad moments and it is not one I would have looked at and said, this is a book I want to read.

I could relate to this story more than I imagined.  Mostly because it focuses on the mother of a Norwegian immigrant family.  My own great grandparents immigrated to America from Norway.  Maybe around the same time as the family in this book.  I could also relate because I am a mother and I could identify with the struggles the Mama faced.  Reading this book made me think of my own mother and the sacrifices she made for her children.  While my mom did not take in boarders to make ends meet, as did Mama in this story, she did take in children.  She choose to watch other people’s children so that she could be home with her own children.  It wasn’t until after my siblings and I were all in school full time that she took a job out of the home.  Another aspect I could identify with was the focus on family.  Family was import.  Family came first.  Not just the immediate family, but extended family including aunts, uncles, great-aunts, great-uncles.  When I was young girl we would visit family.  Almost anytime we visited my grandparents inevitably there would be more family members at their home.  A visit from family was a time of celebration.  My grandpa always said that family was important.  If they did not come to his house, we would all jump in the car and go visit them.  There were many times we visited my mom’s aunts and their families.  I remember being so bored, but still enjoying the visits because they were family.

I realize this has become more about my memories of my family than a review of this book, yet that is where this book took me.  Back to a time when family came first.  I wish I could say it was still this way today, yet I see so much sadness in this world where people focus on what is easy, even if it means leaving family behind.  If it doesn’t make a person happy, then they will leave it behind. Not in this book.  There were things that did not make the family happy, yet they worked on keeping the family together even when it was not easy.  I like that the focus of family was a big part of this book. I have tried to instill that family comes first in the lives of my own children.  Only time will tell if I have succeeded or not. I enjoyed the story and am glad I took the time to read it.  Will my 16 year old son enjoy it?  I am not so sure about that.

Categories
Grief Life

joy will overshadow the sorrow

At the end of 2020 A friend asked this question:
What little (or big!) things have brought you joy this year?
My response:
If you had asked me before October I would have said family. I find joy in my family. In October I had a great loss in my family. While I still have joy, it has been overshadowed by grief. There is still joy and the answer is still my family, yet there is sorrow. I think the sorrow will always remain, I have hope that before long the joy will overshadow the sorrow. So focusing on little things, like a visit from my son who lives far away, or the laughter of my grandchildren, or a hug from my husband when the tears start flowing. All those bring me joy.