Here is what has been on my heart…what if I can’t remember? What if, as the years pass, I can’t remember Dale. I can no longer remember what he looked like. What he smelled like. How he would hug me. What if I can’t remember? I do not want to forget. As the years pass will I remember Dale? That thought grieves me to no end. As I sit here typing this I cry, lots and lots of tears. Will I remember Dale? Will I remember how generous he was? Will I remember how he was always willing to lend a hand? Will I remember that I always knew that if I called him, he would come. Will I remember he was always there for me. No matter how much he struggled in his own life, others always came first. My last conversation with him he asked me how he could help others when he could not even help himself. Yet he tried to help himself. Even at the end, he was trying. Dale was an alcoholic. He went to treatment twice, yet the addiction would not loosen its grip on him. Five days before he died, he stopped drinking. Cold turkey. His body could not handle it. He checked himself into the hospital. Suddenly things went bad. That is what the doctor told me. His heart could not take it and it stopped. They worked on Dale for a long time. Yet his heart would not work on its own. Dale never gave up, he kept trying. I always want to remember how hard Dale tried. How much he loved his family. How much he loved his friends. How much I loved him. He once talked about dying. I told him he could not die, I would be devastated. I was right. I am devastated.
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